infertility

All too often, it’s easy for us females who suffer from infertility to give so much thought to what we’re going through emotionally that we tend to overlook our partner’s feelings.  At the same time, it’s not always easy to get men to open up and share their deep feelings regarding something so intimate — even with their lifemate.  More often than not, men tend to either ignore the emotional turmoil they know we go through, or they make themselves busy trying to make our lives easier even though they know they can’t fix the situation. In doing so, they ignore their own feelings and it makes it even easier for us to do it, too.  However, pushing these feelings to the back burner doesn’t make them go away, and it doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

If you’ve noticed that your man has changed somewhat since you’ve been having problems conceiving or diagnosed as infertile, there’s a good possibility that he’s depressed about the situation.  After all, this is a problem that has a major impact on both of your lives.  Just as it’s not easy for you to accept, he may be having the same feelings.  Perhaps if you can get him to open up to you, you might find that he is hurting, too.  Perhaps you can share your feelings of disappointment and grief.  Perhaps knowing that you’re both experiencing the same despair about the situation can be yet another bond that the two of you share. Sometimes just not feeling like you’re experiencing this alone can be a major stress reliever for you both.  Perhaps you can work out a game plan to help you overcome your struggles to have a child.

Whatever you do, don’t ignore the feelings that your partner may have.  If you find that he is actually okay with not having children, it might help you accept the situation as well.  On the other hand, it may be something that the two of you really need to discuss so you both know where you stand regarding how far you’re willing to go to become parents.  Regardless, his feelings need to be aired, and he needs to know that you’re concerned about his emotional position and how he feels.  Don’t be afraid to talk to your spouse. It will be an emotional discussion, for sure.  However, it can be one which leads to healing, bonding, and even a plan for the future.

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