infertility

Because yesterday’s topic was the negative emotional aspects of infertility, I thought that today I would try to lighten things up a bit.  Even though sometimes all we want to do is just sit down and cry, it usually doesn’t help too much and we’re left with swollen eyes and a bright red nose! So, instead of just trying to cheer myself up all alone (and lets face it, after fertility treatments, who can afford retail therapy??), I generally go to some of my favorite forums and read some jokes.  I thought I’d share a few with you today, and hopefully, you just might think about these the next time you’re feeling down, too.  (Oh.. and feel free to share your favorites with me, too!)

The Hormone Guide
Women will understand this and the men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS:/ SAFER: / SAFEST: / ULTRA SAFE:

What’s for dinner?/ Can I help you with dinner?/ Where would you like to go for dinner? /Here, have some wine.

Are you wearing that? / Wow, you sure look good in brown! / WOW! Look at you! /Here, have some wine

What are you so worked up about?/ Could we be overreacting?/ Here’s my paycheck. /Here, have some wine.

Should you be eating that?/ You know, there are a lot of apples left./ Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?/ Here, have some wine.

What did you DO all day? /I hope you didn’t over-do it today. /I’ve always loved you in that robe! /Here, have some wine.

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
and my favorite one.
13. Potential Murder Suspect

One ovary says to the other ovarie, “Hey, did you order any furniture?”
The other ovarie says, “No, why?”
“There are a couple of nuts outside trying to shove an organ in.”

Two women dealing with infertility were walking down the street together. Suddenly they saw I stork carrying a baby fly by. They looked at each other and one women said, ” What do you think that was?” The other woman took out a handgun and said, “Opportunity knocking.”

Don’t Kick Anything
A little boy came down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm,
his mother asked if he has done his chores.

“Not yet,” said the little boy.

His mother told him that there’s no breakfast until he does his
chores.

Well, he became a little pissed off, so when he went to feed the chickens,
he kicked a chicken. When he went to feed the cows, he kicked a cow.
When he went to feed the pigs, he kicked a pig.

When he went back in for breakfast, his mother gave him a bowl
of drycereal.

“How come I don’t get any eggs and bacon? Why don’t I have any milk in
my cereal?” he asked.

“Well”, his mother says, “I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs for a
week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don’t get any bacon for a week either. I
saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren’t getting any milk.

Just then, his father came down for breakfast and kicked the cat half way across
the kitchen.

The little boy looked up at his mother with a smile, and said “You going to tell him, or should I?”

Okay.. hopefully I’ve give you all a little laugh.  Just try to remember, there will be dark days, but there will be sunny days every now and again, too.  Don’t get too hung up on those dark days that you stay in bed with the covers over your head when it’s nice and sunny.

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